It's 3:21 AM as I begin this. I suppose I should be asleep, but I'm not tired enough for that yet. I've entered another season of evening shifts at work. Usually they are a welcome blessing after the tedium and stressfulness of summers at my job. But this time around, I am filled with regret about going back to the evening shift. I've realized how much of normal life I miss by working in the evening. The latest example is the family party tomorrow afternoon which is being held on my late brother's birthday to remember him. It seems like I should be there.
I'm thinking of happier times some years ago when I used to be involved with an international student organization. They would have events every week or two, and it was at these gatherings (all held in the evenings) that I met some of the best people I've ever known. Some of them are still good friends of mine. That's something I miss being a part of, but my schedule just doesn't allow for it anymore.
I'm not really a social person in the sense that I go to a lot of parties or clubs or other public gatherings. I prefer just meeting with a few friends at a time. But as time goes by, I've found that the opportunities to make new friends are fewer and fewer. Why? Well, partly because I am at work instead of somewhere else, hanging out and meeting people, after the working day is finished. I feel that working at night really limits the possibilities. Pure speculation, but would I have met the "right" girl or even be married by now if I didn't work in the evenings? (Ok, that's just my overactive imagination working.)
It wouldn't make sense for me to change jobs right now. There's no chance of switching my schedule either. Working in the evenings has to be for the time being. And there are some advantages to it. For one thing, the pace is much faster (on a good night) and time goes more quickly. There's hardly any traffic on the way home...especially nice during winter. If I need to get groceries or go to Walmart, there aren't a whole lot of people in my way. I have most of the day to get other things done, like appointments. And I'm more of a night owl than an early bird (by far) so the late nights are easier to handle than early mornings.
It's just kind of a lonely existence sometimes. That's the heart of it. I can't complain too much, because I still get to see my friends on the weekends, and I see family members during the day. I'm just getting to a point where I have a longing to fall in with most of the population and keep a normal, human's schedule. Something about being on a daytime schedule this summer seemed to solidify that. It will have to happen eventually. Hopefully not too long from now.
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